Friday, 30 May 2014

The Night I Gave Up On Life

BY 

About Steven Aitchison
 Creator of Change Your Thoughts (CYT) .

I don’t quite know why I am sharing this extremely personal story with you now, except that there is a little voice pushing me to let it out, and I am acting on that.
This story might be upsetting for some and it might make others feel angry and for that I apologise.
I want to tell you about the night I gave up on life.
It was back in 1990, my life looked as if it was going well, I had a lot of friends, I had a decent job, I had travelled a bit, I had good looks, I had money in my pocket, the works.  The thing is I wasn’t all that happy and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why I was unhappy inside.  I used to fantasize about ending my life, it was actually a real comfort to know that I had the choice of living or dying.
I used to plan how I was going to end my life so as it would look like an accident to lessen the pain on my family, my favourite fantasy was jumping off a tall building.
One night, I was working in a bar and I was walking the 2 mile walk home late at about 1am.  The rain could be heard thundering down onto the pavements.  I was walking slowly in the rain as I liked the feel of rain against my skin.  I noticed in the distance a dog, and it was limping quite heavily.  When the dog got closer, I noticed the dog had only 3 legs as it ran past me.  For no reason, I started crying uncontrollably as I felt so sorry for this dog.  I couldn’t get the dog out of my mind the next day, and wondered why I was so upset by it.  I realised I felt like the dog: alone, soaked, not fully functional and nowhere to go.
A few nights later I decided that the jacket of life no longer fitted me and I was taking the jacket off for good.  I said goodnight to my mum and dad, I called my sisters earlier on to tell them I loved them.  I took 26 strong sleeping tablets up to my bedroom after telling my dad not to wake me up in the morning for work as I had a days holiday.  I sat in bed with the tablets, a glass of milk and cried as I took each tablet.  I cried for my mum, and at how heartbroken she would be, I cried for my dad as I had only told him I loved him once in my life.  I cried for my sisters as I would miss them terribly and knew they would miss me.  I took all 26 tablets and put my head on my pillow to die.  I am crying as I write this just now.
I can’t quite remember when I woke up, I was in hospital and two of my friends were there with my mum and dad and sisters.  I had been unconscious, I honestly don’t know how long as I have never spoken of this to my family since.  The morning after I had taken the tablets my dad was up for work as normal.  He didn’t wake me up as I had told him not to, however he heard a bang when he got up at around 5am.  Apparently I had fallen out of bed.  That fall , and my dad hearing it, saved my life, I believe.
When I woke up in the hospital there was a lot of crying, a lot of questions and a lot of explaining.  The hospital psychiatrist came round and asked if I needed help.  I told her I knew why I had done it and I was going to rectify the issues in my life.  I felt ashamed, guilty, upset and angry at myself at having to put my family through something as awful as this just because I didn’t have the balls to sort out some of my problems.
I didn’t feel I fitted into life, with the friends I had, the job, just everything.  What did I do? I started over.  I dropped my friends as I realised they were drinking buddies and not friends, I changed my job, I upgraded my skills, I got my finances sorted out and moved to another city.  I have never looked back since and I have been on a quest ever since to find myself and share the knowledge I have with others.

Lessons From That Night

Nothing and I mean nothing is so bad that you have to take your own life.  There are always options and if the worst comes to the worst, drop everything and start again.  If you are in this situation just now, please believe me when  I say it will get better and there are people who can help.
I’ve learned to tell others how much I love them and how much I appreciate them.
I’ve learned to look for the signs that others might need help.
I mentioned earlier the jacket did not fit, what I realised when I awoke in the hospital was that the jacket can be altered to fit me and I didn’t have to fit the jacket.
I have learned so much more over the years since that night and my long standing depression was lifted in one decision – I will change my life to suit me.

Monday, 26 May 2014

9 Steps To Achieve Your Most Important Goal

By  



Do you have an important goal in your life that you’re burning for?

Back in my days as a banker, I was obsessed with the idea of quitting 9-5 and founding my own business.

With a good portion of desperation, I incorporated a business within a healthcare niche. I had no idea what I was doing. I messed up the process and was soon overwhelmed by bootstrapping a business.

It was a painful and expensive experience. But it was worth every penny. I learnt an invaluable lesson about the importance of following a bulletproof process.

What Are You Burning For?

Take a moment and think about your life. What is the one thing you’re burning for?
- Do you want to quit 9-5?
- Do you want to publish a book?- Do you want to master a new skill?- Do you want to get fit?- Do you want to start your own business?
At the end of the day the specifics of your goal don’t really matter. If you follow the right process, you’ll sooner or later accomplish your mission! Here’s how:


9 Steps To Achieve Your Most Important Goal


1. Have A Strong ‘Why’

Working towards your goal will kick you in the face at least once in a while. You will experience setback after setback. You will want to give up from time to time.
You need something that is stronger than your daily struggle. You need something that gets you out of bed early and pushes you through the day.
You need a strong “why”.
Be honest with yourself about your “why”. Don’t bother with any half-baked attempts. Want something 100%, or don’t want it at all.

2. Become Obsessed With Your Goal

There is lots of smart advice out there about multitasking and living a balanced lifestyle. The advice has in common that it won’t help you to accomplish your mission.
Your time and energy is limited. Achieving a remarkable goal will demand all of your attention.
You need to become obsessed with your goal to the point of madness. Put as much time and energy into it as possible.
Once you’ve achieved your goal, you can think about balancing your life.

3. Have The Right People In Your Corner

Your team either makes or breaks you. If everybody around you is killing it, you’ll be far more likely to do the same.
Surround yourself with people who have already walked the walk, people who live the life of your dreams.
Remove all negative people out of your life. Be hard with yourself and everybody else. Whoever provides negativity cannot any longer be part of your team.

4. Forget About Events, Think In Processes

Achieving your goals is never a magical event in someday land. It is everyday minor work. It is a process of doing what it takes as long as it takes.
It will take you months or even years to achieve your goal. If you hope for a quick event, you won’t make it.
Learn to focus solely on the process. Forget about the payoff and focus on doing what it takes. Sooner or later you will have what you want.



5. Build Momentum

I can’t put it better than Newton: an object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion.
It will take you a large amount of energy to start moving in the right direction. Once you’re rolling, it’s almost an easy walk. You just have to keep doing what you’re already doing.
Start building a positive momentum today. Do whatever it takes to break through your inertia. From there on: protect your momentum as if your life would depend on it.

6. The Present Moment Is All There Is

Do you still regret the opportunity you missed last year? Do you still beat yourself up for failing your important goal two years ago?
Let me tell you this: this nonsense comes without any value and has to stop right here and now. Beating yourself up won’t get you anywhere. It does not do anything good for you.
Focus your energy on doing the right thing in this particular moment. Repeat tomorrow. Repeat the day after tomorrow. Repeat until you’ve achieved your goal and never look back.

7. Act Like The Perfect You

You don’t feel good today and you’re too busy anyway? Ask yourself what the “perfect you” would do.
Would the “perfect you” let a shitty day distract you from doing what it takes? Or would the “perfect you” break through all the boundaries?
Would the “perfect you” jeopardize the hard-earned momentum due to laziness? Or would the “perfect you” protect the momentum?
I think we both know the answer. Whenever you’re close to quitting, do what the “perfect you” would do.

8. Control Your Daily Actions

A good old-fashioned daily checklist will do magic for you. It will help you to detach your actions from your emotions.
No task is too small for your checklist. Analyze what it takes to achieve your goal and break it down into daily manageable tasks.
From there on: work towards your list no matter how you feel. Only go to bed once your work is done.

9. Use Leverage

Get yourself an accountability buddy. Put a painful amount of money on the line.
The pain of losing the money must outweigh the pain of doing what it takes. Boy, you’ll hustle like crazy if there is $10,000 on the line.

Report your progress once a week. Screenshots, face-to-face talks, video logs…be creative.

Read more at http://motivationgrid.com/9-steps-to-achieve-your-goal/#MuvkqMDJkdpI2V5s.99

Friday, 23 May 2014

100 Ways to Develop Your Mind

by : Steven Aitchison 



1. Do the Thing You Fear the Most.

If there’s one thing that will change your thoughts quicker than anything else, it’s facing your fears.

2. Stand up For Yourself

A lot of people have difficulty in standing up for themselves. The first time you do it can be very empowering and your thoughts about yourself will change forever. See Dealing With Confrontation

3. Stop Talking

It’s great to be silent for just a little while. Our thoughts turn inward and we begin to appreciate ourselves just a little more.

4. Strengthen Your Strengths

Sometimes we focus too much on trying to strengthen our weaknesses when we should be concentrating on strengthening our strengths.

5. Take A Walk Around an Art Gallery

You might not appreciate art or participate in it but it’s great to see the thoughts of others on canvas. It can give us a tiny glimpse of what goes on in other people’s minds.

6. Blindfold Yourself for a Day

Walk in the shoes of a blind person for 1 full day, it will forever change the way you think about life.

7. Stand on a Chair for 5 Minutes Per Day

Building self discipline is a great way to take control of your mind and your thoughts. If you just get up and stand on a sturdy chair your mind will be wondering what the hells going on and try and force you to get off the chair. Disciplining your mind is a great way to start changing your life.See Self Discipline

8. Dance When There’s Nobody There

It’s a strange sensation to dance on your own, although when I have done this I look like a dog having a seizure, nonetheless it’s a great way to let go of your inhibitions.

9. Give Money to Someone Unexpectedly

Whether it be on the internet, or in the street, just give a larger than normal donation to someone. This again is liberating and your thoughts about money will change for a few moments (that’s all it takes to start the process of changing your life.)

10. Strengthen Your Thoughts About Yourself

Reinforce your thoughts about your good points. If you are good at talking to people, tell yourself this often. If you are good at maths, tell yourself often. This has the benefit of reinforcing and strengthening your self image.

11. Take A Risk

Life would be boring without ever having taken a risk in your life. Do something that you didn’t want to do because you thought you wouldn’t be any good at it. This totally smashes the boundaries of your comfort zone and your life could change forever. Read This Post by Robin Easton

12. Talk To A Stranger

Again this is breaking our comfort zones, but just saying hi to stranger in the street or good morning can have an enormous impact on your day and the person you said hi to.

13. Walk Around The House Naked

I can almost feel the shock at this. I don’t mean when you’ve got guests in, I mean when everybody is out. Lock the door and totally liberate yourself and your thinking of what’s right and what’s wrong. I wouldn’t advise doing it all the time, but from time to time, it’s a great feeling.

14. Read A Book By An Author You Most Avoid

reading books by authors we avoid gives us a chance to take control of our minds and lets us see another side to our thinking. We’ve got to ask why we avoid them in the first place, is it something within us that we are avoiding?

15. Write An Article About Yourself

Imagine a newspaper has asked you to write an article of 1000 words or less about yourself and your life and they want to know what motivates you in life, now write the article. This helps put your life into some perspective and gets you thinking about your childhood and growing up.

16. Stop Contact With Your Down People

If you have people in your life who constantly drag you down, or are negative all the time, drop them. Honestly drop them from your life, you are not serving them and they are not serving you and they are dragging your thoughts down. Read This Post by Dan And jennifer

17. Believe In Yourself

A lot of people believe their life has been pre-destined and there’s nothing we can do to change it – absolute rubbish. YOU are the only person who controls the universe, yes I did mean universe. Your universe is different from mine so you control your own universe, think about that and start acting upon it.

18. Meditate Every Day

Another powerful thing that has the power to change your life and your thinking for good. Retreating into your mind for a few minutes every day will do you a power of good. Read How To Meditate

19. Ask For A Discount

When you buy anything from a shop that is over $100, ask for a discount. Tell the salesman you’d like a 10% discount on the item. Most people are so afraid of doing this but it’s a great way to empower yourself and let go of another inhibition, what’s the worst that can happen?

20. Risk Embarrassment

Imagine if you had seen the person of your dreams on a bus, or at the store and you didn’t do anything about it how much would you kick yourself. If this happens to you, do something about it, don’t keep it hidden. Just say to them you thought you would come over and say how attractive they looked and felt you had to tell them. You never know what will happen and how much your life could be changed. Obviously don’t turn into a weirdo and do it with every good looking person on the street.

21. Work Toward, What You Think, Is An Impossible Goal

If you work toward a goal without expectation you don’t care about the outcome as much. When you don’t care about the outcome, you don’t have as much expectation.

22. Practice Gratitude

We all know what we don’t have in our lives because we spend a lot of time wishing we had them, but are we really thankful for what we have? Spend time every single day being thankful for the good things we do have in our lives. read The Post at ZenHabits on Gratitude

23. Do Something Nice And Don’t Tell Anyone About It

We tell others about our acts of kindness to let them know how nice we are and to seek approval. If you keep your act of kindness to yourself without ever telling anyone the feeling of positive energy lasts much longer.

24. Share Your Skills

Everybody has a skill of some kind. When you share it you not only have the power to help others, but you enhance your own skill by owning it.

25. Don’t Talk Just Listen

Enhance your listening skills by not talking when someone is speaking to you. Resist the urge to speak your views when someone is talking to you, just listen to them and ask them more open ended questions at the appropriate times. This has two benefits: a) You can really listen if you are not formulating the stories in your own head when someone is talking b) you will make the other person feel great as you are actively listening to them.

26. Write Your Future Life Story

Start from the age you are just now and start writing your future life story as you’d like it to be. Be as outrageous as you want and just write about your ideal life and how you interact with it. Words on paper are powerful and can help shape your goals.

27. Give Someone A Gift For No Reason

We always assume someone buys us a gift for a reason whether it be a birthday, christmas or special occasion. Buy someone a gift just because you know they would like it.

28. Pass On Your Good Books

If you’ve read a book and it changed your thinking or life in some way, pass it on to someone else who might benefit.;

29. Spend More Time With Your Kids

Your kids will grow up very quickly, spend as much time as you can with them.

30. Forgive Behavior

The way we behave doesn’t necessarily reflect our true thoughts. Remember this when someone acts out of character and behaves in a way you don’t approve of.

31. Allow Yourself To Be A Lazy Git

We are so used to filling our time with useful things to do and being productive we have forgotten the art of laziness. Being lazy is good every ONCE IN A WHILE and it allows our mind to slow down and relax.

32. What Is Your Best Quality Today

Every morning for 10 seconds just state, out loud if you can, what your best quality is. Try and change it every day. This reinforces your strengths and weakens your perceived weaknesses.

33. Write A Comment

If you visit a blog you like, leave a comment and join in the community of people. Or, if there is not much of a community, be part of starting it.

34. Tell Your Friends And Colleagues How Good They Are

If a friend or colleague does something good, tell them how good they are at that particular task. This reinforces someone else strengths or strengthens their weaknesses and makes them feel good about themselves.

35. Make A Video Of Yourself And Post It To Youtube

Why on earth would you do this? Just because you can!

36. List All Your Worries

Make a list of every single worry you have at the moment. You will notice that you don’t have as many worries as you thought. Worrying consumes our thinking and we think our whole life is one big worry. When you get it down on paper it’s extremely surprising that you don’t have as many as you’d thought.

37. Work On Each Worry In Turn

Now that you have all your worries listed. Go through them and start acting on them in turn. If you find worries you cannot act upon it means there is nothing you can do to change the outcome of that worry, so forget it, why waste mind energy on something you cannot control at all? Read This Post for More Info

38. Read About Successful People

If you want to change your thoughts and change your life read about people who have already done it and use them as guides.

39. Tweet Your Moods

If you use twitter why not tweet your moods daily and see if there is some kind of pattern after a few months.

40. Stop Watching Soaps

Soap operas actually have the power to alter your state of mind. People get so caught up in the emotions of the soap that they experience what the actors and actresses are doing.

41. Have A News Break

What would happen if you never read a newspaper for a week? nothing at all, your life wouldn’t change, you wouldn’t run out of things to talk about, you would still be as up on the world as everyone else. Newspapers sell because of their doom and gloom, read it and you are buying into it.

42. Do Something Spontaneous

Jump on a bus without looking at the destination, book a holiday, take time off work, take your partner away, buy your kids a gift; do anything and make sure it’s out of character, (expand that boundary).

43. Write To An Author

Authors are people just like you and I and they love getting feedback about their work. If a book touched you in some way or changed you, take time to write to the author and thank them. Don’t look for a reply, just thank them.

44. Follow your instincts

We don’t trust ourselves nearly enough as we should. Follow your instincts more and pay attention to the signals your body is picking up and see where it takes you. You might find that your conscious brain gets in the way of your body signals a lot of the time. Read This Post for More Info

45. If You Find Some Money Give It To Charity

If you find money in the street don’t pocket it, give it to someone who is homeless or better yet buy them a meal with it. If it’s a suitcase full of money, that’s obviously a different story.

46. Your Thoughts Really Do Have Power

When you realize this, it will change your thinking in so many ways. I can’t tell you that it’s true you have to experience it for yourself.

47. Always Admit It When You Have Made A Mistake

Don’t blame others or hide behind someone else. Hold your hands up and admit you made a mistake, no matter what the consequences are. You will be much more respected this way. However, don’t take the blame for others.

48. Do Something Every Day To Improve Your Mind

Learn a new word, do an anagram puzzle, sudoku your mind, read a book, read a stimulating blog post, anything that will help your mind just a little. Just a little turns into something huge.

49. Change Your Thinking Style

If something is not working out, try and change your thinking style and come at it from another angle. This is true of everything in life.

50. What Do You Really Want To Do In Life

You will find most people cannot answer this question simply because they are plodding along with life. When you know what you really want to do with your life then your life takes another path. read This Post by Dragos Roua

51. Pass On Your Knowledge

Knowledge is for sharing, let others know what you know if it’s appropriate.

52. Ask For What You Want In Life

If you don’t ask you won’t get. Asking for your wants puts it out there. I mean literally ask and metaphorically ask. When you want a big house or a mansion, ask out loud and send it out there. When you want the smaller things in life, ask for them from people who can give you them. Always pay it forward.

53. When Someone Does You A Good Turn Pay It Forward

If you receive a compliment, thank the person and look for an opportunity to give someone else a compliment. If you receive a gift, give a gift to someone else at an opportune time.

54. Always Have A Good Breakfast

We underestimate the power of food to keep our brains healthy and our minds alive with energy. If you don’t eat that much, make sure you have a good breakfast to set you up for the day. Read this post on eating by Vin Miller

55. What Would People Say About You If You Died

This is not a morbid thought, but I often think about what people would say about me at my funeral. The thing is the ones who might say something bad, I can’t really not invite because I’ll be dead. However, the important people are ones I would care about most and I would like to develop my life’s values based on what people would say about me at my funeral; he was a caring man, he was a family man, he always told the truth no matter how hard it might seem, he had integrity etc.

56. Sing Your Heart Out

I love to sing, I hopeless at it, but I love it. We have a radio station over in the UK called gold http://www.mygoldmusic.co.uk/ and it plays music from the 60s, 70s and 80s and I sing at the top of my voice as there is always something on that’s good. My sons are not very pleased about it though :)

57. Love The One You’re With

Always let your partner know how much you love them by telling them and showing them. This way your mind is focused on them for at least part of the day.

58. Pacing Whilst Studying

This has helped me a lot over the years. I paced my way through university. My theory is that the body and mind is being stimulated with the exercise you are doing whilst walking, this makes the blood flow. Blood flow to the brain help you to study and remember.

59. Make New friends

Whether it be online or offline. Keeping yourself busy socially is stimulating for the mind and lets you see the world from others peoples perspective.

60. Make Love Regularly

Releasing the feel good chemicals, endorphins, into your bloodstream is a great way to stimulate the mind. I have to admit to feeling much more creative after making love.

61. Listen To Music

This stimulates the mind and can have tremendous benefits for your thoughts, therefore your life. I love listening to Baroque music whilst driving at night, I love rousing rock driving during the day and dance trance music at the weekend whist driving

62. Listen To A Book Instead Of The Radio

Getting downloadable books from Amazon.com or Audible.com is a great way to spend long journeys and learn something at the same time.

63. Have A Sleep In

I am not a big fan of sleeping longer than I have to, but sometimes it’s great to lie in bed for a few hours longer than normal. It helps the brain recuperate.

64. Turn Off The TV

There’s nothing more brain numbing than having the TV on all day every day. Exercise your mind and read a book, or at least watch something educational. Read this post by Vin Miller

65. Look For Evidence Of Your Beliefs

This will develop your mind and your critical thinking. If you look for evidence of your beliefs such as ‘what is the evidence that sea water is blue or green’, you’ll discover some great information on during your research.

66. Take Micro Naps

Taking a micro nap for 10 minutes a few times a day does wonders for your brain energy. read this post on Micro Naps

67. Travel Often

Travel really does broaden your horizons especially if you really get into the local food and culture.

68. Tidy House Tidy Mind

There really is nothing better than clearing your house or office space to clear your mind. When the house is not tidy there is always a niggling at the back of your mind. When the house, office and workspace is totally clean and tidy it frees your mind to concentrate on work or your family at home. read this post at DumbLittleMan

69. Exercise Your Mind Not Just Your Body

We all know the benefits of exercising the body but exercising the mind by doing crosswords, maths puzzles, playing chess, reading, anagrams, sudoku etc, all help to increase the minds capacity for learning.

70. Read Philosophy

the beauty of philosophy is that there is no right and wrong. However, reading different philosophers views about the world will stimulate your mind. Read this post by Tim Ferris

71. Ditch The Credit Card

We have forgotten how to wait for the things we want in life, if we see something we like we want it now and using a credit card is too easy. Make the object of your desire more precious by saving up for it. This will discipline your mind as well as your money spending habits.

72. Watch A Motivational Video On Youtube First Thing In The Morning

This is a great way to start the day. Just type in motivational into youtube search box, sort by view count and watch a few videos.

73. Keep Up To Date With New Theories

Whatever field you are interested in keep up to date with new theories and discoveries. New theories in psychology are especially interesting albeit quite thin on the ground.

74. Take One Action Toward Your Goals Every Day

Your Self confidence, self esteem, and goals can only be reached by taking action. The more action you take the more your mind will help you to keep going.

75. Never Let Your Mind Go Out Of Fashion

Keep up to date with the latest research on health, beauty and intelligence. Only those whose thoughts keep searching will stay intelligent for life.

76. Confronting Your Stressors

Whatever you are stressed about the most tackle first. The less stress you have the less your mind has to cope with. Tackle the biggest stressors first and work your way down. Read this post by Jonathan Wells

77. Drink Coffee And Tea

Despite evidence to the contrary coffee and tea have been shown to help the brain. Antioxidants and/or caffeine may help fight the onset of Alzheimer’s by 30-60% drinking 30 cups a day is obviously not good but 3-5 cups per day is okay.

78. Carry Yourself With Confidence

People can tell by the way you walk if you are confident or not. Walk with purpose and have a purpose to walk. Read this post by Brandon Lindell

79. Make Up Your Own Mind

When reading or listening to the news, do your own research and make up your own mind. The government and large corporations, whether deliberate or not, is a propaganda machine feeding you information to manipulate your thinking.

80. Take Up Yoga

This is meant to be one of the best ways to relive stress and exercise both mind and body. watch this video to get you started

81. Change Your Hands

Practice doing this with your less dominant hand. If you are right handed start doing things with your left hand and vice versa. If you are ambidextrous, start doing it with your feet :)

82. Eat Plenty Of Fish

There is an abundance on new evidence that eating fish is great for our brains and keeping them healthy.

83. Reduce Your Alcohol Intake

I had to say this, I am an addiction worker. Don’t cut it out just reduce it to the recommended safe level.

84. Quit The Smoking

Yep it can be one of the hardest drugs to give up but it is worth it. I feel so much better for giving up smoking and have a lot more energy than normal and my mind can function a lot better.

85. Practice Deep Breathing

Getting plenty of oxygen to your brain is key for a healthy mind, deep breathing can help with this.

86. Get A Dog/Cat

If you live alone why not go to one of the pet rescue centres and get a dog or a cat. People who have pets are shown to be less lonely, more active, and show fewer signs of stress. read this article by elizabeth Scott

87. Break your Pattern

If you are the one who always goes shopping swap the routine with your partner. Or if you always go to a particular store, change it and go to the same store in another area. Do anything to break the patterns you have in life. This way your mind is kept more active.

88. Try New Food

We have trained our palettes over the years and have gotten used to eating certain foods day in and day out. Try new foods and train your palette to eat better foods.

89. Stimulate Your Brain By Going To A Concert

Whether it be a rock concert or am orchestral concert, getting out and hearing music live and being with people who enjoy the same music stimulates your mind and your emotions.

90. Join An Internet Group

Join an internet discussion group to further your education on topics of interest. Want to start a business? join a group and get ideas for best practice. Want to know more about tropical fish? join a group. This educates your mind, gives you ideas and lets you meet people who are interested in the same topics as you.

91. Volunteer To Help Others

Volunteering is a great way to give back to the community and help others learn the skills you have. Even if you don’t think you have skills you can still help someone out in your community just by talking or doing their shopping for 1 hour per week.

92. Read The Tao Te Ching

Has to be one of the best books, in my opinion, for developing your mind. read this blog byNaoto Matsumoto

93. Practice Patience

Waiting in queues, traffic jams, on a telephone call can be very frustrating sometimes. If you use the time to develop your mind and focus on your goals your frustration will dissipate very quickly. Use free time like this constructively instead of getting angry and putting yourself in a bad mood.

94. Practice Divergent Thinking

This is the practice of looking for multiple solutions to problems or issues that arise in your life, whether they be at home or at work. Don’t judge your solutions just put them down on paper until you can’t think of any other ways. get others involved in this as well. Read this article on divergent thinking

95. Put On A New Hat

Edward De Bono wrote a book called Six Thinking Hats in which he proposed you to put on a different, mental, hat for each area of your life. For example you put on your parent hat when talking to your kids, you can also put on your child hat for playing around with your kids. mentally putting on different hats allows you to better go in and out of different roles in your life.

96. Stop trying To Multitask

Multitasking can’t be done except with unconscious processes such as walking and talking. If you try to consciously multitask like make the kids lunches, have a telephone conversation and try and get the kids ready for school it can’t be done nearly as effectively as doing each task separately. Multitasking stresses out minds and helps to produce bad results. read this article by Dave Crenshaw

97. Write A Short Essay On The Books Your Read

Doing this will keep your mind active and helps your to read in a different way as you are analyzing books instead of just reading. this way you retain more information and in a few years time you don’t embarrass yourself by saying ‘yeah, that was a great book but I can’t remember what it was about.’

98. Allocate Time For Worrying

If you are a recovering worrier and you need some help, allocate a certain time each day to worry about everything. Once you’ve done the time of worry, leave it until the next day.

99. Stop Faffing And Just Do It

Faffing is the art of doing small things to avoid completing a bigger task. I am constantly getting on at my son and saying ‘Stop faffing!’. We spend too much time faffing instead on concentrating on the task at hand. Read this Article at Lifehack.org

100. Read The Dictionary

Learning a new word every 2 -3 days will increase your vocabulary by 120 – 170 words per year.

101. Always Over deliver On Your Promises

If you say your going to do something, don’t just do it and get the job complete, make sure you over deliver on everything you do.

Thursday, 15 May 2014

How Talent Can Hold You Back



The Burden of Talent at a Young Age:
by 

Brian Lee

Director of Branding and Media at Guardian Equity Real Estate Group

I’ve seen this scenario a thousand times:
Able to charm his way out of late homework…
Probably voted “Most Likely to Succeed” or “Most Popular” in the senior yearbook.
How Talent Can Hold You Back
But did he succeed?
Whether or not the fallout started in college or the real world was probably an indicator of how talented he actually was… but the shortcuts eventually caught up; leaving him with a false sense of entitlement and an empty wallet.
You see, in the real world, talent isn’t rewarded… production is.
In other words, you don’t get paid for being able to solve problems… you get paid for actually solving them; which often takes time, effort, and “the grind.” That’s why you often see the less talented, but hard working, high school kid sneak up on the studs and become successful in life. They never had a large enough ego to convince them that they didn’t need to do the hard work.

“The Grind”

“The Grind” is a term used to describe the boring, tedious, painful little actions that need to be done to accomplish a result. I’ve been in about a dozen career fields in my lifetime and every single one of them required “the grind” to get ahead… at least at first.
When I was a kid mowing lawns… I had to knock on doors and get rejected ten times before I picked up a client.
When I was building my bulk candy vending business… I had to get rejected by ten store owners before one would take my gumball machine.
When I was in film production… I had to get coffee and make copies for bosses ten years younger than me before I was promoted.
Now, when we buy investment houses…we have to talk to twenty home sellers before we find a deal that works.
If you’ve chosen the right career field, a lot of hard work in “the grind” can lead to easier and easier ways to make money as you build wealth or get promoted, but the principle remains that it’s all about production… not talent.

It’s All About the Ratios

The science behind the grind is that production is a ratio of energy exerted. The best examples I can think of are in sales (which you may not think apply to you; but sales permeates everything in life from closing a house to negotiating which movie to watch with your spouse.)
In sales, everyone is familiar with the term “close ratio.”
For example: a store that sells kettle corn might advertise free kid-size bags of corn in the local entertainment paper. The ad attracts 100 moms with kids, 50 of which just take their free popcorn and run.
The remaining 50 buy larger bags to take home, and 20 of those sign up for the “flavor of the week” program where they pay $20 a month to get a free bag of kettle corn each week.
This particular store had a 50% close ratio on regular corn and a 20% close ratio on the monthly program. The salesperson behind the counter had to be rejected by 50 people to get 50 regular sales, and by 80 people to get 20 “flavor of the month” sales.
No matter how talented you are, only a portion of your effort will be rewarded in life. More talented people might have higher “close ratios”, but it doesn’t matter if they are not participating in “the grind” to begin with.

“The Grind Doesn’t Apply to Me”

I write with such contempt for talent-waste because it started to happen to me before I realized what was going on.
I breezed through junior high and high school (with honors) without ever taking my mother seriously when she told me to finish my homework before I go out to play. In college I boasted a self-proclaimed “highest GPA to attendance ratio in university history.”
(I had a 3.5 GPA, which meant the ratio was probably close to 10.0!)
I was clearly skating by on my talents and I thought that I had schmoozed all the teachers into loving me until I ran into an old high school friend at my 10 year reunion. It was great to see her for the first time in many years and I learned that she had become a teacher at our hometown junior high.
The funny thing was: most of my old teachers still worked there and she gossiped with them every day in the teacher’s lounge. I started to feel a little uncomfortable under the collar as the expression on her face turned into an evil grin.
“They had a nickname for you…. Do you want to know what it was?”
Before I could spit out “no”, she blurted out in laughter, “Doesn’t Apply To Me Lee!
My heart sunk. I pictured myself as the model student; but clearly, the teachers
were smart enough to know my skating ways (even if they were complicit by enabling me).

New Beginnings

The experience made me reflect and realize that my talents had handicapped my progress in the real world. Skipping “the grind” was all I knew in high school and college… why wouldn’t I carry that over to my career?
That’s when I started to force myself to knock on doors to place gumball machines, even if i didn’t like it.
Now, it seems obvious. Success is a combination of “the grind” and talent… with a strong lean towards “the grind”. The good news is: if less talented people are succeeding at “the grind,” imagine how successful a more talented person would be if he just worked harder.

The Higher Levels

The highest paid jobs in our society are for creative problem solving. People that can use their heads to create new products, systems, plans, etc. stand to make a lot of money.
Talent is definitely a much higher factor in these jobs, the problem is: you have to go through the grind to get there. You have to know what it’s like to be in sales before you can be the CEO.

Types of Talent

We’ve mainly been talking about intelligence: the type where you can ace a high school test without studying; but the bottom line is that any major advantage you have over others at an early age might come back to bite you.
A good example is attractiveness.
Extremely attractive people have an advantage over others starting at an early age. They’re more popular, they get away with more bad behavior, and people coddle to their needs more than their less-attractive peers. This can lead to the same false-sense of entitlement as extremely intelligent people.
Someone who is born into wealth can face the same issue. Not having to work as hard to get what you want can “soften you up” in your later years.

Awareness

The key is to be aware of falling into the trap. If you are a person to whom things come easily, it wouldn’t hurt to take a look at your choices and habits. The difference between a great life and a good life might just be a little bit of “the grind” to get you started.